“IN POSSESSION OF A SECRET THAT WASN'T MINE”: AN ETHNOGRAPHY BETWEEN SILENCES AND SECRETS AROUND LIVING WITH HIV/AIDS IN A REMOTE AREA
HIV/AIDS; Silences and secrets; Small town; Ethnography in health services; Experience with the disease
Faced with social processes produced by stigma and discrimination in relation to HIV / AIDS, people living with this condition, under the logic of long-term, are faced with a process of economy of visibility: they enter a universe of silences and secrets as a form of protection. This research is based on the assumption that, given the specificities of the social dynamics of rural contexts, the place of origin / housing, as a social marker of difference, shapes the way these people will experience seropositivity, so that they engage in a series of agencies with aimed at protecting identity in a context of a tendency to blur between public and private aspects of life. Therefore, the objective of this study was to understand how the experience of living with HIV / AIDS is modeled, thought, lived and silenced amidst silences and secrets in a decentralized context. Ethnography is the theoretical-methodological framework adopted to apprehend the object of study. The field was carried out between April and September 2019 in a specialized service located in the interior of Rio Grande do Norte. During field trips, participant observation, production of field diaries and semi-structured interviews were used to collect information from the interlocutors. These data were interpreted based on the socio-anthropological literature on long-term suffering and illness, silence and secrecy and social markers of difference. Two chapters were produced from the analysis of this material. The first explores the ethnographic practice and the experience of otherness at the moment when the researcher lived a field encounter that cost her the possession of a secret that was not her own, from which she began to question the silences and secrets in interior contexts. The second, dialogues with lived experience and narrated in the previous chapter, when the interlocutor protagonist of the meeting became the narrator of the issues that involved the management of silences and secrets about seropositivity in the small town. From the discussion undertaken, it was possible to conclude that the vulnerability of secrecy in the interior contexts permeated the social dynamics of the small town that brought up the possibility of discovering the secret, making PLWHA live in the silence of its body an unspeakable identity.